Forgetfulness

I seriously don't know why, but for the last two weeks I keep forgetting to put on deodorant. Some days I put it on, some days I plain forget. Like this morning. I specifically made a mental not in my head to put it on, but then I plum forgot. What gives? Is this a manifestation of some emotional state that I'm in? Argh!!!!

Father Maloney AKA George A. Maloney, S.J.

About a year ago I went to a monastery. While there, I rummaged through the monastery's book store. I came across a book called:

Jesus, Set me Free!
Inner Freedom Through Contemplation

Up until this week I hadn't pick up the book. On Monday I read the introduction. It goes as follows:

You and I are more slaves than freed persons. Part of our slavery consists in having forgotten what true freedom means as children of God. We often are content to live in the narrow confines of our slavery, mainly because everyone else is in the same prison. Blindness is not so great a suffering if all human begins were born blind and never could know any other possibility. But blindness would become unbearable if there were among all the blind persons one man who really could see!
The way we perceive ourselves, God and the world is fairly much the same way others perceives the same relationships. That precisely is part of our slavery. But Jesus Christ came among us with the eyes of God. He was "the true light that enlightens all men" (Jn 1:9). That light shines in our darkness and cannot be overpowered by our darkness (Jn 1:5).

I wanted share this 'cause it reminds me of the Matrix and the study we are doing at Apex.

I can't recommend this book per se cause I haven't read it. But when I'm finished, I'll pass along my thumbs up or thumbs down.

My Sister

Each time I encounter my sister I learn from her. Thank you, Heidi.

Spinach in my teeth

Today I have spilt three different things on my shirt in six different places.

1. Coffee on my shirt this morning.

2. Barbecue sauce on 4 different places.

3. And lastly, a peice of honking lettuce on the middle of my shirt which I didn't notice until a co-wroker pointed out.

God loves me :-)

And on a related note, God has shown me his love through this incident. Just earlier today I said to myself "self" all your blogs are about hard, hurting, depressing issues, when you you gonna write about something funny? I didn't plan it folks. Hopefully you found it funny. I did. And I laughed too!

I think I'm finally figuing out this HiLo LoHi safe mode stuff with blogger

I was reading my friend's Blog today (Meghann Kathleen Peterson). She wrote about her childhood. Interesting story. As she told her story, she recounted what she recalls as her first memory (Christmas 1982: Puppy in a box).

I read her story with curiosity and then began to wonder about my first memory. I'm sad to say that my first memory is of fear. Fear of my mother dying, a fear that still consumes me to this day. How I hate fear. I fear just about everythig. And then again, there are times I don't fear at all.

Every so ofetn I get into these stages of my life where there is much chaos and heart-ache. I find myself in such a place now. Part of it is due to not understanding God and the things he's doing in my life. Part of it is me being selfish. Part of it is based in pain. And part of it is just confusion.

Please pray that God would speak to me and to people in my community. Pray that I and my community are able to clearly identify his voice. Pray for confirmation on things.

Thanks.

Prayer

There are days when I FEEL prayer.

There are days when I feel like not praying.

There are days when I am afraid to pray.

There are days when I am ashamed to pray.

There are days when I WANT to pray.

There are days when I ought to pray.

There are days when I wish I could pray.

There are days when I can't pray.

There are days when I don't know how to pray.

There are days when I just wanna pray.

This morning I laid my hand on my Father and prayed for him. I felt all the apparent negative from the list. God still provided amidst my feelings.

What am I to learn from this?