Malinche

"Go with your daddy" coos my mother, as she gently strokes her body. As the evening came upon us, our dog laid her head on her paws and drifted into a deep sleep. This evening we put our dog to sleep, her name is Malinche.

As the nurses prep our dog's catheter, I stand in the hallway waiting for them to call us back into the room. Standing and waiting, leaning against the wall, I close my eyes and pray. Speaking to God, not being able to find any verses in the bible about dog's departing earth and heading to heaven, I ask God, that if possible, to please allow her into heaven. For I reason, what wrong has this dog done, that to suppose if such a wrong existed to warrant her arrest into Hades, then why shouldn't I ask Father to allow her into heaven.

Praying, and not wanting to be overcome with emotion, I keep my eyes closed, but not immediately realizing that my lips are moving. As one of the nurses walks by, I end my prayer, awaiting for the door to open which will allow us to reunite with Malinche.

Upon the door opening, there lay Malinche looking at us. Her catheter lay firm to her leg, bandaged with fluorescent green tape. Making our way to Malinche, we stroke her body, pat her head and gently tap her snout.

In walks the doctor. Dr. somthing -- I don't recall her name -- is pleasant and explains to us the quick and allegedly painless procedure. Although it maybe painless, and the best we try to not let onto Malinche that what remain ahead for her, are her last breathes, I'm sure she senses that not all is right; so how can it be painless?

After the the doctor tested the line, she procedes to inject -- what seems to be a huge vile of pink fluid -- into Malinche's leg. Not much happens at first but after a few seconds, Malinche begins licking the sides of her mouth. Continuing to lick, she slowly lowers her head down onto her paws. Resting her head onto her paws, Malinche stops licking.

Malinche takes one huge breathe of air into her lungs and then exhales. The doctor slides over to one side of Malinche, placing her stethoscope on her rib cage. As the doctor speaks, telling us that her heart has now stopped, Malinche exhales one final breathe.

Malinche was a good, faithful dog, who was treated well by my mother, and deserved better treatment from me.

She is the type of human friend that all could ever want and all that everyone needs.

I have one picture of her. Its her being held by my father in his arms. May that picture be ever truer now than when it was in the past.

One last belly rub for you Malinche, we love you.

My Pops

Today I think of my father
I'm reminded of him through such a simplistic song
Such a profound song it is, it makes me cry

Somewhere over the rainbow, Israel K sings
His sultry and phonetically clean Hawaiian voice accompanied with his ukelele
transforms this dramatized, distant song, into a captured dream

Israel sings of where my father be

Someday I wish upon the star
wake up where the clouds far behind me
where trouble melts like lemon drops
high above the chimney top that's where you will find me

I see me father calling out to me, reminding me of where he sits
calling me, telling me, he is proud of me...

To write such words fills me
causing the sorrow to flow out of me
mysteriously filling me with both sorrow and joy

How I wish I could re-spend his last days with me over and over again

But to know that he sits high above the chimney top
the place to find him and be with him
I shall strive to live for him
so I can be with him and once again see him

How I wish people could have known my father when he was physically well
What a great man of joy he is and was.

Como te amo y como te quiero

An interesting first

As the lady slipped her arms around me she says, "hold that up to your nipple line"

Nipple Line...what the hell is that. I don't have nipples; girls have nipples!

Today was the first day I went to the gym and actually have a trainer.