Three Months?

Time gapes me.

How insensitive! Not attending to my blog, what a shame.

But is it really the fault of time? Can time really be blamed? Or should I point the finger at myself? Can I be blamed for this?

Probably not.

The culprit, here, is unconventional. I blame my wife. Its all her fault.

There, I said it. Its my wife's fault. She is to blame for this.


Perros Calientes

"Last night, in a shaddy parking lot, of an East Las Vegas Jr. High school, our transaction went down.

She meet us there, with prodcut in hand.

We weren't sure what to expect. We questioned whether or not the product was legit. How many times do you actually get quality from a one-marked vouch proprietor?

Thank the lord, the prodcut was good. It looked clean and smelled sweet.

We were lucky. All things could have gone to hell. With cops and other consumers all around. We were lucy that no one screwed the pooch."

-------

The above rant is one of the many musings in my mind. Its all a rouse just to say, we got a new dog!

Here are some pixs:










Name that Dog

Yes, folks....we need helpnaming that dog. The dog doesn't have a name yet.

Feel free to pass along some suggestions. There are only three criterias:

1. the name must be a strong mexican name and must be in spanish
2. It's a boy dog, so please only suggest boy names.
3. We are under no obligation to accept the name provided to us, but if we do accept a suggested name, the suggestor will win one free "babysit the Avendano's dog, sitting session."


Name on!

Is it really her fault?

Okay, okay. Its not my wife's fault that I have not blogged in the last three months. I made it up. Sorry, honey.

The truth is, its the Dog's fault!

Enjoying maui, part II

Its a lazy afternoon here in maui. Which was needed after this morning's sunrise tour to the volcano.

I wish I could say we were up at the butt crack of dawn, but to do so is a huge understatement.

This morning we got up at the crack of the butt crack of dawn. At 2:00 am we were up and getting ready to meet our tour guide in the lobby of the hotel.

1 hour later we were at a local convinence store buying coffee and looking for a snack to eat.

After settling for some boring pastry next to the donought island we made our way to the counter. And while paying, to my surprise, I got the biggest treat of my early morning life. Behind the counter were piping hot fresh Manapuas.

I couldn't believe it, this convinent store had fresh manapuas.

I love me some manapuas.

If you don't know what manapuas are let me explain.

Manapuas are white in color and resemble pizza dough balls prior to being cooked. However, manapuas are fully cooked and in the center of them are filled with one of many fillings. The one I had this morning had a traditional filling of pork.

Bitting into a manapua has no comparisson. Although I will say this, the meat filling is fabulous and the dough salty and sweet flavor.

I didn't share any of my manapua with MaryAnn, altough she did offe me some of the pastry we bought. I didn't see the need to offer since she probalt wouldn't have like it anyways. Nonetheles, why chance it to only find out she really does like 'em? Then I'm stuck trading half of my manapua for some day old stale pastry.

-- Ramon

P.S. The sunrise and the volcano were cool, we got lots of pictures.

--------------------------
Ramon Avendano
via BlueBerry

Enjoying maui

We are in our second day in maui and are enjoying the traditionally popular event: relaxing in a cabana on the beach in front of our hotel.

Sex is GOOD.

More details to come.

--------------------------
Ramon Avendano
via BlueBerry

Desires

I told MaryAnn the other day that I want to learn to play the piano. I think deep down-inside me, I believe, I have a hidden talent -- a prodigy, of sorts.

Now, I'm not saying I'm a prodigy. But I have a craving and yearning to deeply express myself via the piano.

There's something mysterious about engaging your whole body, mind and soul into an activity that when done right, produces some phenomenal music.


Saturday (June 17) is 4 days away

Four days and counting...

Since our wedding date has approached the 'days' instead of the 'months', I've been keeping a running count.

Today is precisely four days away till I marry her and she marries me.


A future Hope

The future hope of us getting married is so soon and so far away. These last few days seem to wallow in drudgery. And in turn, these last four days seem "to soon" to get married.

This future hope of marriage is a ubiquitous euphoria that one day will realize itself. To get to that day requires work. Some of that work has been joyful. Other parts have been tedious.

My running count of joyful vs. tedious right now has tedious winning 5 to 1.

Now before I get strung up by my toes for making such an "insensitive" remark...I say as Jesus said:

"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world."

So, we too will forgot our 'tedious' pains of getting married and then one day soon celebrate with joy!

12 days

Some days are easy, some days are hard.

Its hard for me to completely comprehend that we...that...I...are...am...getting married.

I know we are getting married, but it is hard for me to comprehend that we are getting married.

12 days remain. I know there is great beauty ahead. And I know there is hardship ahead as well.

There is joy and there is pain.

I stand at the crest, dawning a new time.

I think of the disciples becoming disciples, for the first time since their natural birth they would know a new life -- one packed with joy and pain.

 

I'm sure they welcomed they joy and squirmed off the idea of pain. But as they grew in Christ, they somehow, God-led, welcomed the pain.

 

Us too. May we welcome the joy and may we not dwell on the future pains. Rather, may we accept them and deal with them as they come.

 

This I need help in.
 

Where to start?

Today was better than yesterday.

Yesterday was filled with much anxiety, fear and just plain believing some lies. I often forget God's words in trying times. And at times, I fail to put God's word into practice.

Life.

The last 10 monts have brought some great joy and some trying times. Since August:

- We sold my house by UNLV

- MaryAnn and I got engaged

- We've been planning a fat wedding -- fat to be understand as "damn...this is hard, overwhelming stuff"

- We've bought a new house

- We've been furnishing the new house

- We've moved MaryAnn in

- We had some hard fights, but well-learned lessons

- We've come to love each other so much more

- We get married in 18 days


Car accident.

The new car is out of commision for another 15 days.

On Friday, May 12, some guy wasn't watching and rear-ended me on the intersection of Green Valley Parkway and the I-215.

As of yet, a rental car has not been provided by his insurance. But thank God, my mother allows me to drive her boat (Mercury Grand Marqui)

Dinner tonight.

This evening I'm having dinner with MaryAnn and some guy she was 'Best Friends' with in High School. She hasn't seen him since high school and was recently reunited with him.

I'm told that there was nothing ever romantic, but I'm curious to see how things play out this evening. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but what if he comes out and says "I need to tell you that ...." -- you fill in the blanks.

But like I said, I'm sure it'll be fine. Really, I'm sure he is cool.

Nonetheless, we are having dinner at one of my favorite cuban places. 'Rincon Criollo' has the best Cuban food at the best prices.

Immigration Issue

In light of it, please remember, we are human.

Here is a spanish song by the group Mana that I have translated.

Pobre Juan

Juan se lanzo marchandose al norte
iba en busca de una vida digna
cruzando Mexico por valles y por montes
iba Juan lleno de fe.

La historia es que Juan se iba a casar
con Maria embarazada
pero el no tenia ni un centavo
ni un clavo que darle.

Pero este Juan iba muy decidido
y a la frontera el llego con todo el filo.

Se conecto con el mero mayor de los coyotes
y la historia le conto:

Mire usted que yo quiero cruzarme ya
a San Diego o Chicago,
digame usted lo que hago
que precio le pago.

Juan ya nunca regreso,
en la linea se quedo,
pobre Juan
o la migra lo mato
o el desierto lo enterro,
pobre Juan.

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Juan le enseno al coyote
una foto de Maria
con la cual se casaria,
le prometio que el regresaria
para formar todo un hogar.

Pero el coyoto a Juan lo traiciono
dejandolo al olvido,
de tres balas se tronaron a Juan,
pobre de Juan,
no regreso

no, oh.

Juan ya nunca regreso,
en la linea se quedo,
pobre Juan
o la migra lo mato
o el desierto lo enterro,
pobre Juan
y Maria lo fue a buscar
y ella nunca lo encontro,
desaparecio,

oh...

Poor Juan

Juan marched north
he sought a dignified life
crossing Mexico's mountains and valleys
full of faith Juan went

The story is that he was to be married
with Maria pregnant
he had not one cent in his pocket
nor one pot, nor window

But our Juan, determined, he went
He arrived at the border amongst all the others in line

Talking to the best of the best Coyotes, Juan told his story:

"Understand, I want to cross
to San Diego or Chicago, I don't care
tell me what I should do
what must I pay?"

Juan never returned
at the border he stayed
Poor Juan
Immigration killed him
the desert swallowed his body
Poor Juan

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Juan showed the Coyote
a photo of Maria
the one he is to marry,
he promised to return
establishing a new home

But the Coyote betrayed Juan
Forgetting about Juan
with three bullets they shoot Juan
Poor Juan
he did not return

oh, no.

Juan never returned
at the border he stayed
Poor Juan
Immigracion killed him
the earth ate his body
Poor Juan
And Maria went looking for him,
never finding him, he disappeared,
oh...

As a side note:

If certain legislation is passed, I guees I might become a felon.

My father was illgeal at one time and I aided him.

Do I get to go to jail for that?

If so, bring it on!

Mariachi Band?

I'm looking for one that is reasonably priced and available June 17, 2006.

Please do not send me any leads that will cost me $850/hr.

Thanks.

Ramon

Missing my father
Johnny Cash, Hurt

On an island of all bequeath things

I stand along with thee

You sit with me

a cloud of witnessing things

How could it be

arrived on an island of all bequeath things

The road you traveled landed me here

I'm surrounded by water

I look to the sky to see the stars

You've bequeath me to this island

traversing the desert you landed me here

The island I stand

nothing in common with the desert you traveled

traversed, two million miles away

I look up to the sky

There the star that shined

All the same

When you were alive

Sitting in the car

you told me that you were sorry

Sorry for not giving more than what you did

How could I ask for me --

although I myself thought wanted more

All I need is you

you are not the one who sat in the recliner this morning

who does he think he is

He has no idea of what he did
he has no idea of what he did

You are the one to sit in the chair
you are the one to sit in the chair

No one else can sit there

How he dare.

MySpace

I don't know why I did this, but I did.

Here you go: click here

Very good wine

Rosa regale sparkling red (Italy)
--------------------------
Ramon Avendano
via BlueBerry

Today I am 30

30 years ago this day around 10 a.m. I was born :-)

Am I supposed to make a speech since I am 30 now?

Happy Birthday, me!

Makes me sad

I was making a lunch run today and ran into friend/aquantense of my brother's.

He made some comments that were odd for him. Although he has never spoken ill of my brother to me, today, he had something nice to say about my brother. But, he said it in a slightly depricating tone, that as I drove back to the office it hit me--this guy is depressed.

It makes me sad that he is depressed. I've know him for many years.

Its easy to spot someone who is depressed, when you yourself have been depressed.

I need to pray for him. He is Jewish by culture and is agnostic by religion.

I pray for the healing of his heart, mind and soul. I pray that all blinding factors be removed. I pray for his soul to be free and lifted of malice. And that repentance be the condition of his heart. I pray for a grace that props him up like the ocean props up ships.

Proposed. Engagement.

I was told today by one of my co-workers that I now have a fiancé.

"Interesting and scary", I thought. Just 24-hours ago I had a girlfriend.

Last night I gave the talk/sermon/talk at the gathering. I spoke on faith.

The main idea of the talk was to look at the perspective of faith...not the idea of faith, but rather, the object of our faith -- Jesus.

I'm not quite sure how good of a job I did. There were a few moments where I blundered and forgot to say some things. In addition, I'm not sure how effective the talk was, so I'm not quite sure how well it was received. My hope was that it hit the home of everyone's heart. If that happened, then I am happy.

Last night's talk had two purposes: give a talk on faith and then make a transition to propose to MaryAnn in presence of our community.

Toward the end of my talk, I spoke on the idea of faith and marriage--and my internal/mental struggles with it. As I made the transition into that realm, I asked MaryAnn to stand up and look toward the back on the sanctuary. At first she was reluctant and asked "why". I responded with "just turn around."

When she did, she saw her entire family sitting in the last row. That was one of my gifts to her. I thought it to be a good to sneak her family into the sanctuary and be present for the proposal.

Upon seeing her family, she immediately knew what was coming next. But instead of proposing to her, I continued talking a wee-bit longer. I proceeded to thank Greg for the opportunity and then spoke to the crowd. In the mean while, MaryAnn was on the edge of her seat--rooting me on--to hurry up with the proposal. It was actually quite cute.

So, then, I said, walking toward her, "I've never done this before ... umm...MaryAnn, can I have your hand in marriage."

I'm thankful she said yes. Phew!

2 funerals and 1 hospital visit

The last two weeks have brought two deaths and one hospital visit.

The first death was a young gentlmen who lived across the street. At the age of 33 he died of a massive heart attack. He leaves one son behind who will now most likely struggle whith what it means not having a father.

The second death is my boss' mother. She died after a 12 year battle with Alzyhimers. Year after year she got progressively worse. And last tuesday, she succomed to her illness. Here is a link on the LV Sun website regarding her life -- clik here.

Over the weekend, Emily (MaryAnn's sister), had emergency gallbladder surgery. After the long hours in the ER, being sent home at 3 a.m.--only to come back hours later--she is one organ less and is resting well.

A new identity

For a while I have been wanting to change my blog name to truly and more accurately reflect my true self.

It has been a long, treacherous and joyful journey with Jesus. And the time has come to make a change in my blog name.

It may not seem like a big deal ... or rather, it may seem like a petty or stupid thing to do. But I think its crucial.

My new blog name will now be: Proliferating Santos

Previously, it was Proliferating menzos -- which is an anglo/spanish combinational term meaing "multiplying dummies".

I don't think I ever considered myself a dummy, altough sometimes I sure felt like one. But even a greater tragedy, is that, I believed its spiritual synonymical counterpart: worthless, ignoramous, artificial, fake, false, etc.

Although I haven't come full circle in embracing my true identity as a Santo (Saint), I do know that continually I will try to engage what God says and thinks of me.

And exactly what is a Santo? A Santo is "one separated from the world and consecrated to God; one holy by profession and by covenant; a believer in Christ." (Ps. 16:3; Rom. 1:7; 8:27; Phil. 1:1; Heb. 6:10).

Sometimes ... alot if times ... I am wrong

I'm realizing that I am miss hearing things as of late and am reacting in poor ways.

To MaryAnn, I am sorry for failing to be quick to listen and slow to speak.

To my mother, I am sorry for failing to be quick to listen and slow to speak.

Father, thank you for forgiving me. May your kind, healing, loving hand be upon me.

Ramon

The last time

I was with a co-worker today visiting a nursing home. My co-worker has a friend that desperately needs to get into a licensed, nursing facility, where he'll get true treatment.

On the way back from the facility, we talked a little about my father and how his situation parallels her friends situation. As I shared with her my last time helping my father from the couch to his wheelchair to his bed, I explained that I treated him with such care--unbeknownst to me--that this was my last time doing this. I explained how I handled my father with absolute care and went the extra mile for him.

As I pondered our conversation a few minutes ago, sitting here at my desk, I tearfully realized that my God, my Father, My Lord, caused me to care for him in such a diligent manner, contradicting any and all other incidents where I was not as patient or generous or loving as I could have been.

I am thankful that I have this glimpse now but need to ponder on it much deeper. It needs to sink into me much deeper.

Malinche

"Go with your daddy" coos my mother, as she gently strokes her body. As the evening came upon us, our dog laid her head on her paws and drifted into a deep sleep. This evening we put our dog to sleep, her name is Malinche.

As the nurses prep our dog's catheter, I stand in the hallway waiting for them to call us back into the room. Standing and waiting, leaning against the wall, I close my eyes and pray. Speaking to God, not being able to find any verses in the bible about dog's departing earth and heading to heaven, I ask God, that if possible, to please allow her into heaven. For I reason, what wrong has this dog done, that to suppose if such a wrong existed to warrant her arrest into Hades, then why shouldn't I ask Father to allow her into heaven.

Praying, and not wanting to be overcome with emotion, I keep my eyes closed, but not immediately realizing that my lips are moving. As one of the nurses walks by, I end my prayer, awaiting for the door to open which will allow us to reunite with Malinche.

Upon the door opening, there lay Malinche looking at us. Her catheter lay firm to her leg, bandaged with fluorescent green tape. Making our way to Malinche, we stroke her body, pat her head and gently tap her snout.

In walks the doctor. Dr. somthing -- I don't recall her name -- is pleasant and explains to us the quick and allegedly painless procedure. Although it maybe painless, and the best we try to not let onto Malinche that what remain ahead for her, are her last breathes, I'm sure she senses that not all is right; so how can it be painless?

After the the doctor tested the line, she procedes to inject -- what seems to be a huge vile of pink fluid -- into Malinche's leg. Not much happens at first but after a few seconds, Malinche begins licking the sides of her mouth. Continuing to lick, she slowly lowers her head down onto her paws. Resting her head onto her paws, Malinche stops licking.

Malinche takes one huge breathe of air into her lungs and then exhales. The doctor slides over to one side of Malinche, placing her stethoscope on her rib cage. As the doctor speaks, telling us that her heart has now stopped, Malinche exhales one final breathe.

Malinche was a good, faithful dog, who was treated well by my mother, and deserved better treatment from me.

She is the type of human friend that all could ever want and all that everyone needs.

I have one picture of her. Its her being held by my father in his arms. May that picture be ever truer now than when it was in the past.

One last belly rub for you Malinche, we love you.

My Pops

Today I think of my father
I'm reminded of him through such a simplistic song
Such a profound song it is, it makes me cry

Somewhere over the rainbow, Israel K sings
His sultry and phonetically clean Hawaiian voice accompanied with his ukelele
transforms this dramatized, distant song, into a captured dream

Israel sings of where my father be

Someday I wish upon the star
wake up where the clouds far behind me
where trouble melts like lemon drops
high above the chimney top that's where you will find me

I see me father calling out to me, reminding me of where he sits
calling me, telling me, he is proud of me...

To write such words fills me
causing the sorrow to flow out of me
mysteriously filling me with both sorrow and joy

How I wish I could re-spend his last days with me over and over again

But to know that he sits high above the chimney top
the place to find him and be with him
I shall strive to live for him
so I can be with him and once again see him

How I wish people could have known my father when he was physically well
What a great man of joy he is and was.

Como te amo y como te quiero